Toni Gonzaga was not ashamed to say that she and her husband Paul Soriano have had their fair share of struggles throughout their marriage.
The Kapamilya star admitted on Matteo Guidicelli’s podcast “Matteo Runs” that the “leave and cleave” principle was the hardest for her to accept, especially in her first year living with the director.
“The first year for me and Paul was the most difficult year of our entire marriage, I will remember that.”
The “Pinoy Big Brother” host shared that while she moved out of her parents’ house, her mind was still there.
“When I got married, doon ko lang na-realize na it’s not just physically leaving your old house and your old life. Kasi I thought when I left my house, I already left. But no. My mind, my emotions were all still living with my parents because for 30 years I’ve lived with them.”
Whenever she and Paul would go through something, she would come running back to her parents, as if she wouldn’t be able to solve the issue at hand without them.
“Programmed na 'yung buong katawan mo na ito 'yung katawan ko, ito 'yung system ko. So for the first year of our marriage, I would always consult my parents. I would always run to them for advice. I didn’t get the idea na, that’s not who you are anymore.”
In the end, however, Toni realized that she had to let Paul do his job as his husband and “submit” to him, but not without much resistance on her part.
“That’s so hard for me, I cannot accept na ‘Paul, you are my boss.’ Kasi I am such an alpha female. Malakas din 'yung personality ko. I cannot accept nung time na 'yun na ‘Ha, you’re my boss? I will submit to you?’ It’s so hard to grasp that.”
She then explained what this means for them, “Submitting is not bowing down to your husband and adoring, worshipping your husband. Submitting is allowing him to lead your family. Submitting is honoring, pero it doesn’t mean when he makes decisions, he doesnt consult me. He consults me, because we are one.”
In the interview, Toni also revealed how her parents adjusted to her being not just their daughter, but also somebody’s wife.
“It was also a bit difficult for them in the beginning because we had rules in our house like no more visitors ng mga 9 p.m. dati. My parents would get hurt na ‘Why can’t we visit you if we want to?’”
While she and Paul may have surpassed this phase in their relationship, Toni said that they still go through fights and problems, and she thinks that’s what make all couples stronger.
“It’s normal to fight, because when you fight, you grow together and get to know the person on a deeper level.”
Later, she added that getting married is both the best and worst decision she has made in life. But the worst aspect of it ultimately brings out the best in her.
Toni and Paul have been married since 2015. Their son, Seve, is turning five years old in September.
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